Oh Bike, Where For Art Though?!
Today marks exactly one week since my bike suffered a disastrous mechanical failure and was cruelly snatched from my possession. As you may have read previously while cycling home from work the rear mech snapped clean in two and took out some spokes on the rear wheel and damaged the front cogs.
It has taken me until now to gather my feelings together and come to terms with what has happened, so as is the life of a blogger, I will now inflict my pain on you all in true psuedo-therapeutic blog stylee.
I fully appreciate that to those of you who don't cycle, the loss of a bike will not seem like such a big deal. If I am honest I did not think that it would affect me as much as it has. Prior to the catastrophe I was using the bike for my commute to work. I have since had to beg, borrow and steal the use of a car to get to work instead. The first thing this meant was that I had to suck up to my girlfriend and be abnormally nice to her in order to persuade her to hand over her keys. As I am sure she will tell you, there is nothing worse than me being nice to her. It immediately makes her suspicious and judging by her reaction, also creeps her out a little bit.
Next I headed off to the petrol station to fill up. Now I am used to my fuel for a journey consisting of Pizza, Pasta and Malt Loaf. It turns out petrol is bloody expensive and doesn't taste nearly as good. So far in a week I have spent about £60 just getting about. To put that into perspective that money could have been used on a new pair of cycling shoes or some shorts and a jersey.
I have also rediscovered that drivers are morons who make me homicidally angry. As a cyclist I experience bad driving regularly, however this is usually very briefly as said driver speeds past me. Now I find that I end up being stuck behind someone who insists on travelling at exactly half of the legal speed limit. The expletives that this generates are not appropriate for this forum, but trust me I don't pull any punches.
So here I find myself, during the hottest week of the year, sliding into a white hot furnace of a car instead of getting out for a glorious bike ride. This has caused me to become more irritable as my usual form of stress relief has been taken away. I am angry and frustrated and have also gained seven pounds in a week. I have no idea what I should be eating as I would normally burn calories for fun, instead I am eyeing food suspiciously and trying to learn something new called 'moderation'. For the good of the general public I feel that I need to get back on two wheels as soon as possible.
The one good thing to come of all this is that I was able to convince my other half that expenditure at my local bike shop was essential. Of course I failed to mention that rather than instruct them to complete a repair, I felt a replacement of the gears and drivetrain, new wheels and a gold standard service were in order. I could feel guilty but at least I didn't try and angle for a new bike. Well not yet anyway...........
I have been re-assured that my bike should be back with me and looking as good as new within the next few days. I honestly hope that this promise is kept. If not I will rapidly run out of space under the patio to hide the bodies!!
